


I'm Not Gay, But 5 dollars is 5 dollars.

by LtImmature



Category: South Park
Genre: !Tweek is a stripper, Biting, Blood Kink, Death, F/F, F/M, Stripper AU, Tweek doesn't know anything about Sex, Violence, illiterate writer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 10:11:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12981819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtImmature/pseuds/LtImmature
Summary: Tweek just wanted to help his struggling parents keep their coffee shop, but noooooooooo some how he gets trapped into a some strange cult where they...eat people?





	I'm Not Gay, But 5 dollars is 5 dollars.

Tweek snuck into his parent’s house. It was 3am in the morning, so he assumed both of his parents were in the bed. His lie was he was going to be studying late for some fake exam that was worth 50% of his overall grade. When the clear was coast, Tweek straightened his back up and let out a small sigh. He walked over to the mail decorated dining table. Words like ‘OVERDUE’ and ‘PASSDUE’ contrasted against the white sheets of paper. Tweek straightened the crumpled up 1s,5s and 10s from his pocket. He did it for his parents, he didn’t want to see an 80-year legacy die so easily it would kill his father. After his parents stopped lacing their coffee with that secret ingredient…. METH…. they were force to start buying real coffee making materials. The supplies were more expensive than the meth itself, add that with customers not coming in as much as they use to because the coffee wasn’t again LACED WITH METH and that caused the Tweaks’ to be in snarled in massive debt. No-one should have to see their father break down and cry.  
There. Tweek placed $455 dollars on the table. He would be getting his paycheck soon so that kept his mind at ease. Those annoying thoughts though kept molesting his paranoid brain.  
What if he was caught at the wrong place at the wrong time, and he was brutally assaulted? What if he was just presenting himself as some meal to random strangers WHO TURNED OUT TO BE CANNIBAL?  
Tweek shook his head. No, he was making decent money and he was helping his parents! That’s all that mattered. The boy crept up to his room and closed the door behind him. At least he could sleep in for the rest of the day.

“Richard look!” He heard his mother cry in joy. His father’s voice followed after, something on the lines of the real customers who enjoy our coffee are donating to us. Richard wasn’t that smart and that played in Tweek’s favor, but shouldn't his dad worry about people breaking into their house just to leave money on the table? That’s a bit too suspicious.  
All that matters was his parents were happy knowing their coffee business would survive another month. 

.  
.  
Tweek breathed in Colorado’s cold air. Sense one of the dancers failed to report in, Tweek was called as a quick replacement. The promise of 2x his normal earnings made it almost impossible for him to decline the deal.  
Snow sprinkled down from the sky; gently landing in his hair. It was relaxing, he didn’t have to think about his parent’s tears, he could be one with the universe. That idea was soon scrapped when he heard grunts from between two stores. The further he walked, the louder the grunts were getting. Tweek had no desire to see what was causing those strange noises, it was just by chance that his route was leading him to those particular sounds.  
What if someone was in pain and they needed him? What if they were dying and needed to be save? Or what if it was a trap created by the Aliens of Ziptotron to lure unsuspected humans in just to kidnap them and turn them into dinner for their queen!?  
Tweek stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes identified two shadows. One was leaning against the wall for support while the other was crouching between the first shadow’s groin. Neither of the two were aware of Tweek’s presence, they probably were too wrapped up in each other to actually care.  
“Fuck Clyde.” The one on the wall grunted softly.  
That is when the slurping sound started to get louder, as if the one on his knees ‘Clyde’ was pleased with the response and wanted to make the other moan some more. It proved to be effective, as the other shadow started breathing erratically. Its eyes opened, the main target of the stares went to Clyde as he was happily slurping away at, Tweek guessed a vagina? … He didn’t know anything about sex, he watched a porno when he was younger but he didn’t understand what was going on so left the porn just looked at cute cat videos. The half lit eyes soon flashed to Tweek who was just idly staring.  
“What the fuck do you want?” The other one voiced.  
Wait those were two guys?

Welp, Tweek saw enough and continued his walk to his job. 

The blonde boy stared at himself in the mirror, eyes closed shut and a lot of motivational mantras were spilled into the air. 3,2,1 AH! Tweek twitched plucked excess hair off his eyebrow. Small whimpers escaped his mouth. Anyone who could stand this type of pain automatically earned his respect. It was a painful process he had to endure to make sure his face looked presentable, lucky his body was fine as it was. He was skinny, but not in a sickly way, thanks to his boxing lessons he had a bit of muscle and small indication of abs with absolutely no body hair.  
Honestly, if it wasn’t for his I.D and bags under his eyes he could pass as a 16-year-old boy.  
Once the eyebrow issue was taken care of, it was onto the luggage he carried under his eyes. One of his coworkers taught him how to properly use cover up. With one dab of the makeup sponge, the black rings disappeared. It was only 10:40, it gave him enough time to prepare for tonight. GAH! This was too much pressure. Tweek chewed on his nails. He wasn’t buff enough to be a fire fighter, he wasn’t mature enough to be Santa Claus, he wasn’t rugged enough to be a pirate! AGH! What was he going to do?! He was going to get fired, his parents are going to lose their coffee shop, his dad was going to commit suicide and IT WOULD BE ALL HIS FAULT! The manager was able to help him decide.  
“Twink, JOSH FUCKED US PUT ON HIS COSTUME AND GET ON STAGE IN 20 MINUTES OR ELSE!”  
Well that problem resolved itself, Josh and Tweek were the same body type sort of. If Tweek looked like he was 16; Josh could easily pass for a 12-year-old. Tweek needed to hurry and get ready, his goal was already set in stone nothing was going to stop him.  
AGH! Tweek yelled, the body mirror in the room was making him panic. WHAT THE FUCK? Did he put on the costume wrong or something? No that’s impossible! All the clothing pieces he needed were on the hanger at Josh’s work station. Then what was the problem!? MAYBE THE FACT THAT THE PANTS WERE ASSLESS! THE HAT, NECKER CHIEF, BOOTS AND VEST WERE FINE BUT WHY WERE THE PANTS ASSLESS?! WAS HE SUPPOSE TO WEAR PANTS UNDER THE PANTS? THAT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE!  
Tweek was use to wearing his tight briefs or black leather short shorts, but what the actual fuck was he suppose to do with this?! Tweek tried to relax; breathing in and out. It was probably some missing clothing that was lying around the around, everything was going to be okay. 

“TWINK YOU’RE UP!” The stage manager called.  
“B- b-b-bUT I’M NOT DONE YET! GAH!” Tweek cried back.  
“YOU LOOK FINE NOW GO!” The other snarled, he opened the curtain ushering Tweek out of the dressing room. Tweek walked passed, looking down at the ground. Tweek took a deep breath, he can do this!  
Once he looked out in the crowd and saw all eyes on him, usually women came to see him but this time the whole room was filled with MEN?! He tried his best not to focus on the male audience, but they were everywhere. To their credit, they weren’t here to see Tweek, they were here to see Josh, but Tweek still didn’t understand why men would see another man dancing. People liked what they liked, he answered his own question. He never really knew what he liked though; he never had anyone special from kindergarten to high school, stress and work kept him away from really socializing with people his own age.  
“TAKE IT OFF!” The crowd chanted, throwing balled up money on the stage.  
Tweek just remembered he was doing for his family. His family needed him! Tweek looked directly into the sea of men. Determination fueled his moves; from grinding on the floor to thrusting his hips into the pole and finally doing some sort of hand stand; letting the pole split his cheeks apart as he grinded. It finally ended, Tweek was proud of himself; happier about the money that was thrown his way. He scurried off the stage. Youtube was a great source of learning Tweek smiled as he counted his tips. $735 dollars, This would be the most he had made in one night. Nothing could possibility go wrong!  
.  
.  
.  
At about 1:50am, Tweek slipped out of club, using the fire exit. Some other guy was up on the stage dancing, dressed up as a caveman. Tweek was a bit envious of the guy; the man’s body was so perfect for the costume! The cold air returned to the blonde’s face. His walk was peaceful, until he saw a teen leaning up against ‘Whole Foods’. There eyes were staring at the male dancer; up and down, as if he was sizing him up. Tweek looked down at the ground and continued to walk. Yeah, Tweek boxed and was a good fighter but that doesn’t mean he went out of his way to get a fight with random people who gave him a mean look.  
“Hey.” The stranger called out. Tweek continued walking, ignoring any conversation with the stranger. Stranger danger!!  
“Hey!” The stranger gripped Tweek’s arm; hard keeping him from moving away.  
The street light made the man’s appearance more noticeable. His eyes were blue, not the type of blue that was filled with hope; but blue like ‘I CAN SEE DEEP INTO YOUR SOUL.’, he was tall, his face was chiseled, hair color was unknown because of the blue hat he was wearing and his voice was a bit nasally. Tweek felt intimidated by the other male.  
Was he getting robbed? This is it! Was he going to be sold into human slavery or was he going to be harvested for his organs!? MAN THIS WAS TOO MUCH PRESSURE! FUCK!  
“How much are you?”  
Tweek looked confused. “I-I GAH! I don’t UNDERSTAND!” Tweek’s tone shifted from normal to loud randomly.  
“Dumbass, how much do you charge?” He muttered, looking into Tweek’s green orbs.  
“I—I still don’t AH! Understand.”  
“FOR FUCK SAKE, HOW MUCH IS IT TO FUCK YOU?” The other sounded as if he was losing his patience.  
“$1500?” Tweek just remembered that number from the cost of supplies and maintenances for the shop.  
“Alright, Follow me.”  
Follow? The guy had a vice grip on Tweek’s arm, there was no room to argue. What did he want like a dance or something? But $1500 dollars plus the $735 dollars he made today was enough to keep his family afloat for the next 3 months! Things were looking up for the 20-year-old! That’s what Tweek thought until he was thrown into a dark corner; pinned to a brick wall.  
“Du-dude what the fuck?!” Tweek struggled against the other.  
“Just shut up and relax.” The man said, tipping Tweek’s face up to reveal his small neck.  
The man attached his lips to Tweek’s neck, gently biting.  
“HE-HEY ST-STOP!”  
The biting got worse. No matter how much force Tweek used his attacker didn’t budge, he clawed at the other’s hand; begging for release. The feeling was indescribable; like a 1000-degree dual icepick digging into his flesh.  
Just when Tweek felt his legs about to give out, the man or whatever stopped. Tweek fell to the ground, his neck sore and his body was throbbing.  
“I’ve had better.” The taller male whipped his mouth and threw 5 dollars on the twitchy boy’s body. Tweek looked up at the man, those dull blue eyes were now bright red. That was the last thing he saw before he blacked out.  
“There, there it’s going to be alright honey.” His mother said in a soothing voice. Tweek opened his eyes to see he was in a familiar environment.  
“It’s okay honey, everything is fine.” She repeated.  
“Thanks mom.”  
“It’s okay honey, everything is fine.”  
“Mom?”  
“It’s okay honey, everything is fine.”  
Tweek looked over at his mother, raising an eyebrow.  
“It’s okay honey, everything is-.” She stopped in her sentence before her head fell on her son’s lap.  
Tweek woke up on the cold ground, a stray dog had huddled against him for warmth. When his strength returned he was able to push himself up and wobble home.  
.  
.  
“Wow Tweek that’s some scar!” Butters pointed out.  
“AGH- YEAH I burned myself last n-n-night.” Tweek lied.  
“But on your neck?”  
“NGH- how’s Charlotte?” Tweek asked, trying to get the conversation off of him.  
“Oh! Well, I dumped her. I realized I didn’t like women anymore.”  
“B-but you two were together for 4 years.”  
“Yeah, oh well I found someone more specialer!”  
“Hey there Buttercup.”  
Tweek looked up at the strange man with blonde hair.  
“KENNY!” Butters cheered as he wrapped both of his around this stranger.  
“Kenny! This is my friend Tweek; he’s in my art class. Tweek, this is the love of my life Kenny!” Butters announced. Kenny’s brown eyes landed on the other blonde boy.  
“Nice to meet you.”  
That glare said otherwise, it was as if he was telling the twitchy blonde to leave and give the couple privacy. Tweek took the hint and excused himself. Kenny smiled, letting Tweek know he picked the right the answer.  
At 6pm, Tweek found himself wandering around campus. The scar on his neck was hurting again, rubs it softy only twitching a bit. Tweek’s dad was suppose to pick him up after his 7:30 class, but the class was canceled due to the professor disappearing out of nowhere. Tweek opted to just going to the library and catch up on his psychology homework he missed because he was scheduled to work the coffee shop. 

A twitch caused Tweek to look behind him, just to see dull blue eyes looking right at him. Tweek snapped his head back around as his walking speed increased.  
“Hey are you alright?”  
There was another man that stopped Tweek from walking forward.  
“Sorry about that, Craig can be a little creepy. Me on the other hand; well I’m more of a people person.” The stranger continued to talk. He had put his arm the twitchy blonde, keeping him in place so he wouldn’t run off.  
“I’m Clyde by the way and you are?”  
“MELVIN.”  
“Well Melvin! You look good enough to eat.”

**Author's Note:**

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End file.
